Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Why did i smoke ?

As I was explaining to a friend recently, I seem to have a lot of time on my hands now that I stopped lighting up. when I did smoke, I was smoking, not thinking or worrying or multi-tasking in any way, just smoking.

I am happy to report that the urges are all but gone. Drinking isn't as enjoyable as it used to be although i still managed to empty a bottle of Romonov and DSP black (with some help from Vik, Srikanth a.k.a MB, Anu, kunal).

I do however have strong urges for one more puff. When someone lights up near me, it takes every inch of will power I posses to not smoke.

It'll pass, or so I hope, but it got me thinking. Why did i smoke ?

Many people have asked me this, and I had answers straight away.

Answer 1:

I smoke because I like to smoke.

WRONG. In all honesty, maybe the first 3 or 4 cigarettes of the day gave me some pleasure. But every other cigarette atleast after the first four puffs were pure agony. I wouldn't want to throw it away because I paid 5 rs for one and I wouldn't feel like smoking it either. I would in the end suck it up (pun intended) and finish the ciggy as i affectionately called it.

another reason I would give myself and anyone else who asked was

Answer 2:

what is the point of living till 60 ? loose your mind and bladder control ? no thanks.

I smoke coz I intentionally want to kill myself. WRONG.....

about 2 or 3 months back, I was falling sick, A lot.

One month I got a cold, it took me a week to recover. had 2-3 good days, and caught a cold again. this happened four times. What was worse, I was smoking whilst I had my cold. I fell sick 4 weeks in a row in one month.

Smoking Fucks you up. I knew that, Smoking fucks your lungs, I knew that.

Yet when I fell sick, that often, I was bloody pissed. Had I been this rational then, I would have realised, that if I put toxins in my body, regularly, Things were bound to .... Say it with me ....
although I still think dementia and loss of bladder control will suck, I didn't like it when I got sick. Its terrible. The worst.

I know I may come of as smug, specially for those of you who know me. But If I can do it, So can You.

Cheers, ....


  1. Wooohhhh....!!!!!

    I thought REASON TO QUIT <- article had something with reality....

    Gosh!!..i was wrong... This is a piece of confession....You have made people, who would fire the inch tobacco in a style, realise the pain in future, to loose control of ur sense, even to hold that inch of paper without a tremble....

    I really pity men who smoke, not for ruining their own health... but they will surely feel guilty for spoiling the health of people around(non-smokers).

  2. Good that, you already quit so you don't fall in that category - _ ^