Thursday, October 8, 2009


Well i got married last year. Don't get me wrong its nice, but somethings about marriage piss me off. For one, most people i know come up to me and say 

Eh!, Any good News ??? 

or something corny like,

when will you make me a mama/athai/thatha/paati/chithi ? 

WTF ?? 

People, just coz i'm married does not mean anu gets pregnant immediately. My semen does not not magically transform by the power of greyskull and become Super sperm. (for those of you who don't know what greyskull is, FUCK YOU, shouldn't you be suckling on a nipple somewhere ? ) Anyways the more i see of this world the more reasons i get for not having a child, God forbid i get a boy like myself. My dad always says, (english translation) you'll get a son one day, He'll be a bitch just like you ( sounds better in tamil ). 

Back when i was a kid (god it seems not so long ago), Things were easier, There weren't any entrance exams for kinder garden. If i didn't eat my own snot, i was accepted. seems rather simple. No capitation fees, You could walk to school (which i never did) , take a rickshaw or travel by PTC. 

Road accidents were a rarity, and you could count the cars on the road with your fingers. Cycles didn't need helmets, and knee guards, and it was highly frowned upon to use bad language. 

Now it seems like every other Mo Fo out there has a car, drives like a maniac and will call me a Mo Fo for not overtaking the slow moving bus, and this is what i have to bring an innocent little kid into ? 

Besides, by the time my kid gets to college, They'll pass a law saying we reserve 99.99923456789 % of all seats for the chinese. All indian children will need to go through the management quota, comprising of 0.00076543211 % of the seats which cost a billion rupees, each.  

So here, People who want good news, i will not bash your head in with a rock, the next time you ask me for good news. I hope that is good enough.


  1. And this is exactly why i got married to u hon...GOOD NEWS indeed ! i will definitely bash in the next dude's head with a rock if he asks me the same !!!

  2. Wtf..Abi u will make a great dad...Anyways I wont ask u anything...

  3. I love this line 'If i didn't eat my own snot, i was accepted. '

    Its hilarious.... :)

    Good one.

    So tell me its been a yr since you got married. Any GOOD NEWS????